memories

this day…April 19…i’m not a fan of it at all. and i feel that more so than any other day of the year it always brings up a mixture of emotions for me.

most notable to many people is that 12 years ago the Oklahoma City bombings occurred and i can remember where i was, what i was doing, and how incomprehensible it was. i was in 7th grade social studies class when we were told about the bombing and watched in disbelief as the events of the day unfolded.

this is one of the main reasons why i really wanted to take part in the Oklahoma City Memorial (Half) Marathon next weekend. and in some small way, it’s a chance for me to honor the victims and their families.

but this day…April 19…cemented itself as one of the worst days of my life when i was a senior in high school. i don’t talk about it much, many of my close friends don’t even know this part of my life. but every year it’s an unavoidable sorrow that hangs over my head. and with the recent events at Virginia Tech and all of the bomb threats around this area lately, i can’t help but weep.

my senior class was exactly one month away from graduation, we had just had our senior prom ‘Heaven Awaits’, and our close knit group of 88 students were loving life and looking forward to that last month before we all said our goodbyes and headed off on our separate ways.

but this day…April 19, 1999… this day would forever change us.

every year, the senior class would help participate in the city-wide cleanup. as part of our community service, we would assist the city workers in picking up unwanted large items that people put out on their curbs. it was a day to be excused from classes, get out and enjoy the weather, and goof off as we drove around town looking for garbage.

this day….it’s still as vivid as the day it happened…..a group of about 8 of my friends had split into two trucks as we drove around and we were headed back to the dropoff spot to unload. we had to find spots to sit amongst the trash in the truck beds and i was in the lead truck, facing backwards, waving to the girls in the truck behind us.

we were driving down Main Street, they were sitting in their truck bed also, atop mattresses, chairs, boxes….Tara waved back and giggled.

and then the wind blew.

the gust caught the edge of the mattress she was sitting on. she was just a little girl and the wind flipped that mattress, knocking her off onto the pavement like a ragdoll. her boyfriend was sitting next to me, and we noticed that nobody in her truck had seen her fall, so we pointed and yelled that they wait for her to hop back on the truck.

but she didn’t get up.

she never got up.

they life flighted her to Topeka, and we were sent back to school where we waited all afternoon to hear good news. it never came.

It didn’t make sense. The truck was only going 20 mph, she only fell 4 feet. she was doing community service…one month from graduation…she was headed to college to be a teacher just like her mom.

Tara never woke up. She died that afternoon and our lives were forever changed.

There is a picture of Tara at prom, beaming from ear to ear, standing under the words ‘Heaven Awaits’…and it makes me smile.

this day. April 19. it’s a day of remembrance.

A pleasant surprise after the half marathon

1st place in my age group!! I definitely wasn’t expecting that, but my confidence sure is boosted because of it.

So today is my last day here at GlynnDevins Marketing. I’m a wee bit sad to leave some of my co-workers who’ve become my close friends over the past two years. But the joy of leaving this job that I have disliked for so long FAR outweighs any sadness. And I’m excited to just work at Starbucks and hang out with family and friends during this intermittent time before I move to Seattle.

It’s definitely overdue that I leave here, I feel like I lost a lot of my intelligence and ambition while I worked here. Although, I do have to note that this is the place I met Josh, who has played a most integral role in my running life. So for that, I am happy. But lately, everytime I sit down at my desk, my head starts pounding, my eyes get spotty, and I get dizzy. This place is making me sick.

Time to move on to greener pastures.

Is it happy hour time yet?!!

Deep Thoughts, by Me.

I feel like an entirely different person compared to this time last year. I was just going through the motions of life like a normal 23-year old.
Limited Responsibilites….check. Partying with friends….check. Single and ready to mingle….check. Earning a *meager* salary…check.

But there was something missing. Several things missing, actually. Problem was, I didn’t quite know what they were and I wasn’t sure where to find them. But one thing I DID know, was that I felt like there had to be something more. Something to make me happy.

This past weekend marked the one year anniversary of a very special (I might even go so far to call it ‘life changing’) event. It was my first training run with Team in Training. It’s hard to express how awesome of an experience the whole thing was, but if you’ve been a part of TNT, you already know. And, despite my marathon being the most physically, emotionally, and painfully challenging thing i’ve ever done, I still had an absolutely fantastic time.

It certainly helps having such a great bunch of people to run with and that’s definitely one of the things I’ll miss the most when I move to Seattle.

I’m sorry…what? Move?

Yeah, so i figure if i tell enough people that i’m planning on moving this spring, then there’s no backing out of it. It’s just another thing that i gotta do in my life. But when the right person comes along, you gotta do what you gotta do. I can’t let this one slip away. And it’s hard being in a long distance relationship. VERY hard. I probably enjoy flying more than the next person, but after awhile it is just too financially and emotionally draining to keep on doing this. I have so much more respect and admiration for those in the military who go months, even years without seeing each other.

More on this subject later, but for now i’m off to go run in the balmy 50 degree weather!! It’ll be gone tomorrow so I might as well enjoy while i can.

ok, ok, so i’ve been neglecting my blog the past week and a half. but no need to worry, i have not been neglecting my running. as if anyone is concerned about that….well someone should be, because one of these days i’m going to wonder why i decided to take this journey and really start questioning my sanity. and when that happens, when my logical left brain takes over my emotional right brain, someone will be needed to psychologically smack me upside the head. but until then, i will do better at blogging. i got me some new kicks last week since my old running shoes were probably, correction: definitely, about to turn 2 years old. 2 year old tennies, not too good for the shinnies. I broke in the new shoes over Thanksgiving when i went back home to my parent’s farm. I gotta tell you, there’s nothing quite like running on a pasture trail as the sun sets on a cold fall evening. good times, good times. our dog, skittles, used to make the run with me in high school, but he’s pretty near death so my brother took his place one night. and that run ended with him sprinting home to get the car to come pick me up 1/2 mile down the road. anyway……
last week’s mileage: 12 miles…….2 mile track time 17:15
this week’s mileage so far: 10 miles……2 mile track time 16:20
days until San Diego: 184 days

first things first. the reasoning behind my blogging beginnings: it stems from having some incredibly inspiring people in my life. While i could type forever about those who have inspired me, this is a running inspiration so i’ll focus on them… my former co-worker josh and my long time friend crystal have both ran in marathons recently and upon hearing about their experiences, i’ve been doing some thinking. Running a marathon has been a goal of mine since as long as i can remember. This crazy desire started when my mom would let me tag along with her on her 5K races and i would run in the fun runs, desperately wanting to be allowed to run in the ‘big people’ race alongside her. It continued through jr. high and high school cross country and track, lost its luster when i went to college and resurfaced two years ago, only to be extinguished by severe shin splints and the need for physical therapy.

A recent trip to Chicago with girlfriends reignited my goal. I made a vow with jessi to run the marathon within the next 10 years. But this plan was put into action when kristin expressed her desire to run in the 2006 chicago marathon and i told her “what a great idea, let’s do it!” Oh, and a shout out to erin, who was the inspiration behind the name of my blog (kitkat). I’m aiming to run the Rock n Roll San Diego Marathon in June and the Chicago marathon in October. I’m just praying that my shins stay strong and i remain relatively injury free. So here we go, there’s no looking back, only running forward……