Archive for May 29th, 2006

SERIOUSLY?!?! I CANNOT believe this is happening to me. I guess I should’ve seen it coming….i’ve been unusually ‘healthy’ all through training. I kept thinking it was slightly odd that I wasn’t the one who was injured.

When my teammates were broken down, i felt great.
Despite a few minor shin pains, i felt great.
over 4 months of training, i felt great.
18 miles, 20 miles, 22 miles, i felt great.

But now, less than 1 week until the big marathon, i do NOT feel great. I feel awful.

Honestly, i don’t know what happened. I was doing a nice 6 mile run last Tuesday, and BAM!!! Mile 4, my right leg was screaming at me to stop. So i walked, and then i jogged. I walked, I jogged. And finally I made it back home, limping.

Ok, fine. This is kind of normal. My shins sometimes hurt a little bit when i’m done running.

Ok, fine. Ice. Stretch.

Ok, fine. This will go away eventually.

Ok, not fine. This is killing me.

So i listened to orders from Josh to bench myself for my softball game the next day, and to lay off of running for ‘awhile’.

But Saturday was our last group training run, and i wasn’t about to miss that, and it was only 8 miles. That shouldn’t be a problem. Plus, my leg was feeling better with 4 days of no running. So me and my archnemesis ‘The Shin’ started jogging.

About 10 steps into the run, i knew i should’ve been on the elliptical machine instead.

OW, step, OW, step, OW……..i managed to eek out some kind of limp-tastic stride and made it to the water stop/turnaround at mile 4. Thankfully, Josh was there and helped me to swallow my pride and quit at 4 miles. He drove me back to my car, i talked to koach karl, and went home for a pretty wimpy ice bath.

Helping my brother and sis-in-law move that afternoon probably wasn’t the best idea, but i did it anyway. Yesterday, i iced. And stretched. And iced. And stretched. And went to the pool to catch some rays and do a little swimming. Because, that can’t be bad for my leg, right?

Wrong, it still hurt. My knee, my shin, my ankle. The pain just travels throughout my entire lower right leg.

I don’t know what to do. I have instructions from Koach to not run until the big day. Hang out on the elliptical, bike, swim, yoga. But don’t run.

So, if you know me, you know how hard this is for me to do. i’m stubborn. i want to run. i NEED to run. my marathon is SIX days away!!!

But, i’m going to do everything i can to be ready next Sunday. I’m scared. SCARED TO DEATH. Scared that i won’t be able to run. Scared that i’ll think i’m ready to run 26.2 miles, only to be overwhelmed by pain after only a mile.

I try not to worry about that now. I’ll stay off my feet as much as i can. I’ll keep icing. I’ll keep stretching. I’ll keep praying that i can just make it 26.2 miles.

But SERIOUSLY?!?! why now? This is not what i want to be worrying about. I should be worrying about what i’m going to pack. I should be worrying about what flavor of Gu i’m going to carry with me. I should be looking forward to my vacation from work.

But i’m not. I’m frustrated. I’m sad. I’m in pain. I’m struggling to stay optimistic. I’m trying to be strong. But last night, it was too much for me.

and i cried.

i cried for my body. i cried for those who are expecting me to run great. i cried because my boyfriend is 2,000 miles away. i cried because i’m frustrated with work. i cried because i can’t find God’s humor in this whole situation. and i cried because i want to run.